The Dichotomy of Control: Mastering the Stoic Mindset
- Morris Chen
- Apr 29, 2024
- 3 min read
At the heart of practising stoicism lies a profound understanding of the dichotomy between what we can influence and what is beyond our control. This concept, deeply embedded in the teachings of ancient Stoic philosophers like Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca, acts as a foundational principle for navigating the complexities of life.
“Our mind has the biggest power, we can choose how we perceive events and we can always choose to be virtuous. You only have power over your mind, not outside events.”
⫸ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Internal vs External Factors
Internal factors are elements like our judgments, desires, and actions—factors we can control. Conversely, external factors include the circumstances we find ourselves in, other people's actions and opinions, and events that have already transpired. When confronted with challenges, our instinctual response should be to ask, "What can I do about this?"
For example, I recently injured my shoulder playing tennis. Initially, I felt self-pity, obsessing over the 'what-ifs'—what if I had warmed up more thoroughly, or played differently? However, I soon realised the futility in this. Reflecting on past actions with regret does not aid in recovery; instead, focusing on what I can control, like my response and recovery strategy, does.
We possess the capacity to decide, in any given moment, how we will react, feel, and behave. Accepting the reality of the situation as it has already unfolded is crucial. There's no value in wishing for a different past.

Practising Detachment From Factors Beyond Our Control
Our disturbances arise not from events themselves but from our judgments about them. By shifting our focus from attempting to change uncontrollable events to adjusting our judgments, we can vastly improve our happiness. Misery often stems from the false belief that we can control the uncontrollable.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
⫸ Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Frequently, we stress ourselves over aspects beyond our reach, such as:
Other people's beliefs and actions
Traffic
Weather
Politics
Time
Learning to detach from these and taking full responsibility for what we can control—our beliefs, actions, and emotions is essential. Failure to do so means we cannot effectively address our circumstances, and we risk fostering a victim mentality. Feeling sorry for oneself does not accomplish anything.
Reframing Situations as Opportunities
Each adverse event holds a lesson. Stoicism teaches us to view life’s challenges not merely as obstacles but as opportunities to enhance our character and wisdom. This ancient philosophy encourages us to reframe our perception of adversity, urging us to extract value from every situation, no matter how daunting it may seem.
Consider an investor who faces a significant financial loss in the market. Rather than letting emotions take hold, a Stoic view encourages the investor to dissect the situation critically. This introspective analysis might reveal that their investment thesis was flawed, or their perceived market edge was illusory. Perhaps the investor overestimated the uniqueness of their insights, not realising that the information was already baked into share prices. This tough lesson serves as a learning opportunity, prompting the investor to refine analysis techniques, seek more robust data, and develop a more disciplined approach to stock selection. By transforming this financial setback into a learning experience, the investor not only recuperates but also fortifies their strategies for future investments.

The Power of Acceptance
Resisting uncontrollable factors only fosters frustration, anxiety, and stress. Accepting our limitations in control can lead to greater peace of mind and resilience.
Can we do something about it?
No. Then let's not worry about it.
Can we do something about it?
Conclusion
In conclusion, the Stoic practice of distinguishing between what we can control and what lies beyond our influence provides a robust framework for living a more contented and purposeful life. By mastering the art of reframing every situation as an opportunity for growth, we can transform seemingly insurmountable challenges into valuable lessons that enhance our resilience.
As we adopt this Stoic mindset, we find that not only are we better equipped to handle the vicissitudes of life, but we are also more capable of achieving true serenity and fulfilment. We learn to focus our energy and efforts on areas where we can make a real impact, cultivating inner strength and a deep sense of satisfaction in the process.
When faced with a challenge, consider the following steps:
Assess Your Response: Evaluate how you should appropriately respond and feel in the situation.
Seek Learning: Identify what you can learn from this circumstance.
And, most importantly, keep this timeless Stoic reminder (one of my favourite quotes of all time) at the forefront of your thoughts:
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”
⫸ Seneca

Good Read
Insightful!
Good read
Good read